Gold bling food IS a thing, poppets. And Miss Cee is gonna go right ahead and blame Instagram for it.
That’s right. Instagram was not satisfied with giving US an inferiority complex based on how we stack up to each of the 15 Kardashian sisters.
It is now also giving our FOOD the very self-same jitters.
Your average hamburger feels positively underdressed until its toasted buns have been wrapped in gold leaf. Your morning latte looks like the basic bitch you always knew it was until it’s sprinkled in gold dust. And your uncooked fish isn’t sashimi until it’s gussied up with a dab of the SHINE.
Enough is enough. So gather round, chickadees, while Miss Cee skools you.
The ONLY place you need gold is on your finger.
Or in your commodity trading portfolio.
Okay, and maybe some gold bars in your bank deposit box in case of the zombie apocalypse.
You do NOT need it bouncing around your digestive tract doing absolutely bugger all but giving you the most expensive poop in town. Skip down to the conclusion for more on THAT subject, luvbugs.
Gold food SURE does look perdy though. So if you’re stuck for how to impress the boss at your next dinner, take a squizz at these incredible and inspirational examples. All lovingly curated by the shameless Glitterists here at the SequinQueen Sparkling Life Magazine
1. Deluxe Hamburger with Gold Leaf Buns.
2. Gold Bling Food: Gold Dipped Empanadas.
3. Wagu Beef Tartare Sliders with Gold Leaf Brioche Buns.
4. 24 Carat Gold Tomatoes.
5. Gold Bling Food: 24 Karat Gold Buffalo Wings.
6. Corn Dog Queen Dipped in 24-Karat Edible Gold Leaf.
7. Gold Bling Food: Sushi Adorned with Gold.
8. Ice Cream Coated with Gold Leaf.
9. Cake Coated with 24K Gold.
10. Decadent Grilled Sesame Macaron with 24k Gold.
11. Maitre Choux Hazelnut & Chocolate Treasure Pastry Covered with 24K Gold.
12. Has Anyone Every Eaten A 24k Gold Donut?
13. Sip On A Cup Of Hot Gold Coffee.
14. Tasty & Pretty Chinese Dumplings Topped with Gold.
15. Oreo Balls Dipped in Chocolate and White Chocolate with Gold.
16. BLING Gold Covered Donuts.
17. Glittering Gold Butter Cream Cake.
18. Gold Bling Food: A Chocolate Croissant Dusted with Gold.
19. A Cup Of Hot Coffee Topped with Gold.
20. Gold Bling Food: Gold Flakes on Pancakes.
21. Doughnuts Topped with Meringue, Glitter and Gold.
22. Gold Bling Food: Amazing Gold Laminated Brioche.
23. Glittering Gold Pringles Crispy Chips.
24. Sushi with Edible Gold on Caviar.
25. Gold Bling Food: You Could Call It the Gold Digger-Burger.
Conclusion for Gold Bling FOOD
Is it safe to eat food slathered in gold?
Yes, poppets it is. Most of the gold you see on food is gold leaf.
But don’t get the idea to run around scraping the gold leaf off everydamnthing you see it on and high-tailing it to the bank.
Gold leaf is VERY thin. It can be hammered out until it is about one ATOM thick. And according to Wikipedia 5.5 square feet of the stuff is only going to give you a 5mm nugget.
But maybe that’s enough for a gold tooth to boost yer street cred.
So scrape away!
Because gold is completely unreactive, it does not break down in your body or provide you with any nutrients. It passes right on through just like the prune juice grandma used to force down her gullet.
For the same non-reactive reason, gold leaf also never goes rancid. Unlike the food it might be adorning. And gold doesn’t tarnish either.
So if you want to eat something that merely LOOKS good but does nothing for you, then guzzle down as much gold food as you like.
Just don’t forget to photograph it for Instagram first!
All images are via Instagram where you can see SequinQueen’s collection of the very best bling fashion and accessories online now!